Kamjah .. The Chronicles

Part 2 in a 2 Part Series

Part 1 - “Learning a New Behavior - Forming a New Habit” - read it: click here

Part 2 - “Replacing an Old Habit with a New One”

In Part 1: “Learning a New Behavior – Forming a New Habit” you learned what to do in order to let go of old habits that are not serving you and the steps to take to install new ones’ that will.

Assuming you have read Part 1 ( click here to read ) and you are in the process of adding or changing up  habits  then here are some things to be aware of as well as some additional information you will find useful.

The Process of Habit Change:

Whenever we start the process of habit change there is a natural set of steps we go through. These steps include:

1. Pre-contemplation - This is where we think about changing a habit. We say to ourselves “I don’t think this habit is serving me any longer.”
2. Contemplation - This is when we consider what it will take to move forward and make the change.
3. Preparation – This is when we assemble the resources we are going to need (like an NLP life coach) to facilitate the process.
4. Action - At this stage we have put the wheels of action into motion. We are now actively pursuing to evict the old habit and working to replace it with the new and better serving one.
5. Maintenance – Maintenance is necessary because old habits die hard. This can come in the form of solid support structures in place like working with a coaching and daily reminders.
6. Termination - The time and place when the non-serving habit is completely gone and fully replaced with the one that serves you better. This is what we are aiming for!!

Stay alert and aware for Negative Responses to Habit Change!

As I’ve mentioned before old habits die hard so watch out for the following tricks that old habits will try to play on you:

1. Immobilization: Here you will feel confused and begin to question if getting rid of this old non-serving habit is truly possible and even worth it. These feelings are not good so move forward each day knowing that you are only being tested. Old habits don’t want to go so will try every trick in the book to stay. Remember to stay strong and stay focused and know that those feelings are only temporary and there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long that tunnel may seem.

2. Denial: This is a big one that creeps up so stay alert. This is when you start to convince yourself that the belief you want to change really does not need to be changed. Say for example you drink excessively; through denial you may convince yourself that you really don’t have a drinking problem even though all the while deep down you really know you do. Be on the lookout for denial.

3. Bargaining: This is where you try to tell yourself ‘ok I can follow the old habit a little’. No - shut your mind off to any and all mental negotiating. Bargaining is what slowly brings you back to where you started. Always remind yourself why it is you want to change that habit in the first place.

4. Depression: This one can hit hard especially when the habit you are working to change really affects a large part of your reality. Depending on the strength of the habit and its size it may go as far as impacting your whole identity. I remember talking to someone who said I quote: “for 15 years I was a drug addict, pills, heroin, you name it…and then after I beat the addiction and quit drugs (killed the drug habit) my whole life and reality changed. I got new friends, a new outlook, a new perspective, a NEW IDENTITY. Now maybe it isn’t a drug habit for you but you get the point. Change and evolution is a good thing and everyone’s journey is different so feel free to embrace yours and whatever come from with it.

To help minimize the negative responses you may experience there are some things you can do like focus on the positive reinforcing responses instead.

1. Informed Optimism: Take 15 minutes to write down all the benefits you will gain from adopting this new habit.

2. Informed Pessimism: Take 15 minutes to write all the negatives associated with keeping that old non-serving habit.

3. Realism: Take 15 minutes to write the hard core realities you can truly see yourself experiencing by fully adopting the new habit.

4. Completion: Take 15 minutes to write down how much you see your life being changed and improved and what you will be like after the new habit has become fully integrated and part of you.

Make sure to take 15 minutes each day to read over your positive reinforcing statements. Doing this will help make the process flow by quicker and smoother, not to mention feel more natural as well.

Changing habits is rarely easy and entirely possible. If you think you can benefit from adopting new habits that will serve you better and can see the value of being supported by a trained and experienced professional along the way, please feel free to contact me for a complementary consultation. I’ll review your issue and be able to make the determination if coaching and NLP is right for you.

If you haven’t done so already then I highly recommend that you read Part 1  as it was written to go hand in hand with this one. Go to Part 1 now: click here

~ Geoff

For more information on Geoffrey Schmidt’s coaching, NLP or speaking services please contact him directly at: www.kamjah.com/contact.php or call: (305) 851-2459

2 Part Series

Part 1 - “Learning a New Behavior - Forming a New Habit”

Part 2 - “Replacing and Old Habit With a New One”

Learning a New Behavior
Forming a New Habit

Can you imagine letting go of the habits that are not serving you and replacing them with ones that are. I bet you notice how good it feels to imagine that. You may even find that you like the idea so much that you keep reading to see what comes next!

Lets start with defining what a habit is..

A habit is an automatic response / reaction to a specific stimulus. Once you experience the stimulus you do the habit without thinking. We form habits for two primary reasons: 1. to bring us closer to what pleasures us and 2. to move us away from what we perceive as causing us pain. Another way to put is is that every habit has a positive intention, whether we are conscious of it or not.

First lets go over the stages in learning:

1. Unconscious Incompetence - This is where you are unaware that you don’t know

2. Conscious Incompetence - This is when you are aware that you don’t know

3. Conscious Competence - You know what you need to know but you still have to consciously think about it

4. Unconscious Competence - You know what you know so well that you don’t even have to think about it

Here are some examples of activities that many people in their life have achieved the level of unconscious competence in: driving a car, making toast, taking a shower, brushing their teeth, riding a bike, etc…

See if you can think of some things that you might benefit from having a level of “Unconscious Competence” in..

Say for example you want to become a more social person and perhaps you suffer from social anxiety. If you recognize that it will benefit you to become a more socially aware human then you are starting at the level of “Conscious Incompetence” and through practice and coaching you can rapidly reach the level of “Unconscious Competence”. That’s the level where you automatically know the right thing to say and do in almost all situations.. Kinda like you don’t even have to think about the right words instead they just come.

The steps involved in forming a new habit:

1. Map the Behavior - The first step for learning a new behavior is to have a mental map of it, to understand what you are learning and why. Take 20 minutes to imagine yourself stepping into the new behavior and living it. Notice all the details and how good it will feel and the benifit you reap because of it. It’s always good to be clear in the purpose and how it is going to serve you. Take 45 minutes to write this down in detail. If for nothing else, clarities sake.

2. Practice - Once you have a mental understanding of the behavior, you need to practice the action over and over again in order for it to become a habit.

3. Positive Feelings Catch Up - Initially, as you practice the new behavior you will probably feel uncomfortable, awkward, and worst of all…phony. As you continue to practice, you feel more and more comfortable. Feelings lag behind thinking. The you practice over and over again is so the you can become more and more comfortable during the behavior.

4. Behavior Becomes Automatic - With consistent practice, emotional comfort increases. Eventually the new action becomes automatic; thus it becomes habit.

What new habits do you want to acquire?

For many people it’s the habit of knowing what to say in social situations, for others it’s the habit of waking up early, and for some it’s gaining the habit of going to the gym daily. Right now, choose the new habit you want to create and get to work. Do you want to reach your habit goal faster? If so then sooner or later you may want to contact a life coach like me. I wrote this article so naturally as you can imagine and see I know a thing or two about this subject. Either way good luck and stay tuned for Part 2: Replacing an Old Habit With a New One.

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~ Geoff

(305) 851-2459
www.kamjah.com

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