Kamjah .. The Chronicles

Part 2 in a 2 Part Series

Part 1 - “Learning a New Behavior - Forming a New Habit” - read it: click here

Part 2 - “Replacing an Old Habit with a New One”

In Part 1: “Learning a New Behavior – Forming a New Habit” you learned what to do in order to let go of old habits that are not serving you and the steps to take to install new ones’ that will.

Assuming you have read Part 1 ( click here to read ) and you are in the process of adding or changing up  habits  then here are some things to be aware of as well as some additional information you will find useful.

The Process of Habit Change:

Whenever we start the process of habit change there is a natural set of steps we go through. These steps include:

1. Pre-contemplation - This is where we think about changing a habit. We say to ourselves “I don’t think this habit is serving me any longer.”
2. Contemplation - This is when we consider what it will take to move forward and make the change.
3. Preparation – This is when we assemble the resources we are going to need (like an NLP life coach) to facilitate the process.
4. Action - At this stage we have put the wheels of action into motion. We are now actively pursuing to evict the old habit and working to replace it with the new and better serving one.
5. Maintenance – Maintenance is necessary because old habits die hard. This can come in the form of solid support structures in place like working with a coaching and daily reminders.
6. Termination - The time and place when the non-serving habit is completely gone and fully replaced with the one that serves you better. This is what we are aiming for!!

Stay alert and aware for Negative Responses to Habit Change!

As I’ve mentioned before old habits die hard so watch out for the following tricks that old habits will try to play on you:

1. Immobilization: Here you will feel confused and begin to question if getting rid of this old non-serving habit is truly possible and even worth it. These feelings are not good so move forward each day knowing that you are only being tested. Old habits don’t want to go so will try every trick in the book to stay. Remember to stay strong and stay focused and know that those feelings are only temporary and there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long that tunnel may seem.

2. Denial: This is a big one that creeps up so stay alert. This is when you start to convince yourself that the belief you want to change really does not need to be changed. Say for example you drink excessively; through denial you may convince yourself that you really don’t have a drinking problem even though all the while deep down you really know you do. Be on the lookout for denial.

3. Bargaining: This is where you try to tell yourself ‘ok I can follow the old habit a little’. No - shut your mind off to any and all mental negotiating. Bargaining is what slowly brings you back to where you started. Always remind yourself why it is you want to change that habit in the first place.

4. Depression: This one can hit hard especially when the habit you are working to change really affects a large part of your reality. Depending on the strength of the habit and its size it may go as far as impacting your whole identity. I remember talking to someone who said I quote: “for 15 years I was a drug addict, pills, heroin, you name it…and then after I beat the addiction and quit drugs (killed the drug habit) my whole life and reality changed. I got new friends, a new outlook, a new perspective, a NEW IDENTITY. Now maybe it isn’t a drug habit for you but you get the point. Change and evolution is a good thing and everyone’s journey is different so feel free to embrace yours and whatever come from with it.

To help minimize the negative responses you may experience there are some things you can do like focus on the positive reinforcing responses instead.

1. Informed Optimism: Take 15 minutes to write down all the benefits you will gain from adopting this new habit.

2. Informed Pessimism: Take 15 minutes to write all the negatives associated with keeping that old non-serving habit.

3. Realism: Take 15 minutes to write the hard core realities you can truly see yourself experiencing by fully adopting the new habit.

4. Completion: Take 15 minutes to write down how much you see your life being changed and improved and what you will be like after the new habit has become fully integrated and part of you.

Make sure to take 15 minutes each day to read over your positive reinforcing statements. Doing this will help make the process flow by quicker and smoother, not to mention feel more natural as well.

Changing habits is rarely easy and entirely possible. If you think you can benefit from adopting new habits that will serve you better and can see the value of being supported by a trained and experienced professional along the way, please feel free to contact me for a complementary consultation. I’ll review your issue and be able to make the determination if coaching and NLP is right for you.

If you haven’t done so already then I highly recommend that you read Part 1  as it was written to go hand in hand with this one. Go to Part 1 now: click here

~ Geoff

For more information on Geoffrey Schmidt’s coaching, NLP or speaking services please contact him directly at: www.kamjah.com/contact.php or call: (305) 851-2459