Kamjah .. The Chronicles

2 Part Series

Part 1 - “Learning a New Behavior - Forming a New Habit”

Part 2 - “Replacing and Old Habit With a New One”

Learning a New Behavior
Forming a New Habit

Can you imagine letting go of the habits that are not serving you and replacing them with ones that are. I bet you notice how good it feels to imagine that. You may even find that you like the idea so much that you keep reading to see what comes next!

Lets start with defining what a habit is..

A habit is an automatic response / reaction to a specific stimulus. Once you experience the stimulus you do the habit without thinking. We form habits for two primary reasons: 1. to bring us closer to what pleasures us and 2. to move us away from what we perceive as causing us pain. Another way to put is is that every habit has a positive intention, whether we are conscious of it or not.

First lets go over the stages in learning:

1. Unconscious Incompetence - This is where you are unaware that you don’t know

2. Conscious Incompetence - This is when you are aware that you don’t know

3. Conscious Competence - You know what you need to know but you still have to consciously think about it

4. Unconscious Competence - You know what you know so well that you don’t even have to think about it

Here are some examples of activities that many people in their life have achieved the level of unconscious competence in: driving a car, making toast, taking a shower, brushing their teeth, riding a bike, etc…

See if you can think of some things that you might benefit from having a level of “Unconscious Competence” in..

Say for example you want to become a more social person and perhaps you suffer from social anxiety. If you recognize that it will benefit you to become a more socially aware human then you are starting at the level of “Conscious Incompetence” and through practice and coaching you can rapidly reach the level of “Unconscious Competence”. That’s the level where you automatically know the right thing to say and do in almost all situations.. Kinda like you don’t even have to think about the right words instead they just come.

The steps involved in forming a new habit:

1. Map the Behavior - The first step for learning a new behavior is to have a mental map of it, to understand what you are learning and why. Take 20 minutes to imagine yourself stepping into the new behavior and living it. Notice all the details and how good it will feel and the benifit you reap because of it. It’s always good to be clear in the purpose and how it is going to serve you. Take 45 minutes to write this down in detail. If for nothing else, clarities sake.

2. Practice - Once you have a mental understanding of the behavior, you need to practice the action over and over again in order for it to become a habit.

3. Positive Feelings Catch Up - Initially, as you practice the new behavior you will probably feel uncomfortable, awkward, and worst of all…phony. As you continue to practice, you feel more and more comfortable. Feelings lag behind thinking. The you practice over and over again is so the you can become more and more comfortable during the behavior.

4. Behavior Becomes Automatic - With consistent practice, emotional comfort increases. Eventually the new action becomes automatic; thus it becomes habit.

What new habits do you want to acquire?

For many people it’s the habit of knowing what to say in social situations, for others it’s the habit of waking up early, and for some it’s gaining the habit of going to the gym daily. Right now, choose the new habit you want to create and get to work. Do you want to reach your habit goal faster? If so then sooner or later you may want to contact a life coach like me. I wrote this article so naturally as you can imagine and see I know a thing or two about this subject. Either way good luck and stay tuned for Part 2: Replacing an Old Habit With a New One.

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~ Geoff

(305) 851-2459
www.kamjah.com

Get Life Coaching Today! — Phone Coaching and In Person Coaching Available

Life Coaching & Career Coaching & Dating Coaching

Walk the Fire Part 2 “The Birth”

Haven’t read part one? “The Idea”: click here

I said a while ago part two was coming so here it is. Now run to the kitchen and grab some pop corn, and your favorite carbonated beverage, sit down, calm down, relax and enjoy.

The time came for that ultimate leap of faith in myself. I had hit that point where I no longer was willing to tolerate the heavy price the 16 - 18 hour days were charging on my: mind, body and spirit. The time had come to resign from my career and build what I had started.

I remember making that decision on a Friday. My Saturday and Sunday were not easy. Every kind of thought that you can imagine that might come from a decision like the one I was weighing raced through my mind. “What about the company-they need me”, “I like the company owner, he is my friend, is this right?’, “Will my business succeed?”, “Do I really know what I am doing?”, “What will my family think?”, “What if my business fails, my girlfriend (soon to be wife) leaves me, and my family disowns me and I wind up homeless - then what?”.. It’s remarkable what goes through one’s mind when they choose to leave security to move forward into the unknown.

That Monday, I woke up wanting to throw up. Walking into my boss’s office, I was nervous and I’m not a person that gets nervous easily. Sweat running down my arm, a lump in my throat, and my stomach twisted in knots I felt like I looked like I was taking a walk to the electric chair. I sat down, got myself together as best I could to give him my two weeks and tell him what I was doing. He about fell out of his chair. I wasn’t surprised, as I was a good earner for the company and even more so I was part of the family. This was not resigning from any normal, run-of-the-mill, pedantic job. I was extremely close with my boss, his wife, mother, brother. Needless to say it wasn’t an easy break.

In the end it wasn’t such painful a process. He reminded me that I always have a place to come back to, and wished me the best of luck. I really couldn’t have asked for a happier ending. I’ll never forget what he said as I was walking out the door… “Geoff, always remember one thing-the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. That quote still makes me laugh, and it’s true. We spend so much time agonizing over moments like this-ending a relationship, quitting a job; always keep in mind the very worst that can happen-it’s probably not that bad.

After the decision went into action it was time for me to inform those that needed to be informed. Naturally my family was at the top of the list. That night I remember calling them. I figured I had already surprised a few people that day so since I was on a roll why stop and better yet lets go straight to the top with my mom and dad. Like everyone else they acted surprised. I got an earful on “What about your retirement?”, “What if you have kids someday?”, “What about this….and what about that?”.. I heard it all.

Over the next two weeks while I finished up at my day job I continued to bring people into the loop. Like anything in life, the first few were the hardest and then over time it became easier and easier. After all it was my opinion that mattered most to me, and that’s what I was sticking with.

After everyone was notified, I incorporated and my new company was officially born.

More in the next blog: Part three of Walk the Fire - “How high can you jump”..

Life & Business Lessons from part 2:

- Believe in Yourself…IF you want to make big things happen then you have to believe in yourself FIRST.

- Perspective…Nothing is ever as bad or as good as it seems.  It is what it is.

- Opinions…Everyone has one, it’s your opinion that matters most.

- Decisions…Have the courage to make them, and never look back.  With decisions you either get what you imagined or a learning experience.  Only good can come if you look at it right.

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~ Geoff
(305) 851-2459

Get Life Coaching Today! — Phone Coaching and In Person Coaching Available

Life Coaching & Career Coaching & Dating Coaching