Kamjah .. The Chronicles

As you may have noticed I have been pretty quiet on here for the past few weeks and  trust me, there is a very good reason for that. Truth be told I was away on a road trip up the East coast with my significant other. Together from South Florida we traveled North to the Nations Capital where we explored lots of historical sites as well as places like the Zoo and the National Air and Space Museum. From there we headed further North to Rhode Island where we connected with mother nature in the ocean through some surfing and then from there onward to Boston and New Hampshire. In New Hampshire we camped for two nights and experienced muscle soreness like no other after persevering up the Huntington Ravine trail of Mount Washington.

Having been on many adventures around the world like exploring temples  in Bali, Indonesia to hiking deep into the Jungle of Panama, I still beleive that simple road trips when done right can be among the best.

For you, because by now you’re probably somewhat curious, I went ahead and posted a handful of pictures from the adventure below.

Please enjoy!

Your Coach
Geoffrey
(305) 851-2459

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
Helen Keller

Air and Space Museum - Washington DC area

Narragansett Beach Rhode Island

Historic Town in Massachusetts

The White Mountains up ahead (New Hampshire)

Working the camp fire

View from Mount Washington

Half way up the trail - so beautiful, as there is nothing quite like hiking and reconnecting with mother nature in the way that only hiking can bring..

This is where the trail got really fun and challenging

In North Conway taking it easy the next day after hiking. Can't remember the last time my leg muscles we so sore. The irony is that I would do all over again in a second!

The Swift River (White Mountains, NH) - ultra chilly water..

Last Sunday we held a Dating and Relationship workshop at Simply Yoga of Delray Beach - Florida.

Like the workshop we had the previous week, we had people travel from around the tri-country area to attend. 

This workshop is inspired from the research and findings revealed through: Evolutionary Psychology, Behavioral Genetics, NLP and Anthropology.

What makes this especially unique is that the material covered is based on fact and real scientific research and NOT on personal opinion or some self-proclaimed relationship expert / love guru’s opinion.

We covered topics like: attraction, how it isn’t choice but character is, to traits that men and women unconsciously look for in the opposite sex (somewhat counter intuitive stuff here) to even where the biological impulse comes from that make some people want to cheat. All that and more was covered on June 20th.

As no future workshops are scheduled at this present time please check this page often for updates: http://www.kamjah.com/events-and-workshops.php

Below see pictures from last Sunday (only a couple were taken)

Do you want to join us and be part of the group for a future workshop or get together? Then check back here often: http://www.kamjah.com/events-and-workshops.php

For more information about workshops, events and personal coaching call now: (305) 851-2459

Thinking Style and Personality Assessment

Try it - this is Fun and Revealing!!

Do you want to discover how you think? The way we think influences our personality and our lives.  Understanding that gives us more personal power and better options in life.

Below is a link to a 16 question assessment that has the potential to shed more light on how you think and move through this world then ever before.

After you enter your first name and e-mail you’ll then answer the 16 questions to get your results.

Click the link below to get started. (It’s FREE!)

Click here: http://www.kamjah.com/meta-programs.php

(make sure to listen to the audio commentary at the end when you are finished)

“If you know your opponent and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
If you know yourself but not the opponent, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
If you know neither the opponent nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” - Sun Tzu

Designed and brought to you by: Kamjah Coaching // (305) 851-2459 // www.kamjah.com

Services in: Life Coaching || Business Coaching || Relationship Coaching || Career Coaching || NLP

Here are 10 simple things you can start doing to work toward getting even more balance and control in your life immediately.

1. Stop Tolerating

When you stop putting up with things that are within your control, you will have a lot more energy for yourself.

2. Make Everything Simple

The simpler you can make your life the more space and balance you will have.

3. Save / Stockpile

When you build up reserves in every area of your life, you can leverage oppertunities as they come more quickly.

4. Polish Everything

When you buff up and make a point to shine in every aspect of your life, you’ll be happier and feel better.

5. Orient Yourself Around What Matters

When your life is oriented around what matters to you then you will naturally have more clarity about what’s next.

6. Get Complete

Finish everything you start or completely walk away. Through doing this you will experience peace of mind.

7. Strengthen Your Foundation

When your needs are met, and your personal foundation is solid, confidence replaces fear.

8. Integrate Your Life

When you life blends and flows naturally as it you seeing how it should, then you will experience effortlessness. Everything then just feels like it’s falling into place.

9. Experiment and Improve Continuously

When you try new things or ways of thinking you become a more naturally creative and open minded person. This is another way to begin replacing the emotion of FEAR with CONFIDENCE.

10. Get Coaching

Business, personal, life, fear and phobia removal and more.  It works, and if you’re committed to being your best, and quickly changing your current situation into a better one then you owe it to yourself to give it a try.

~ Kamjah

Kamjah: Life Coach, Business Coach, and NLP
..Contact Kamjah Now - Click Here ..

Contribution by: Maura Marquez M.A. Drama Therapy and Yoga Instructor, facilitator of Divine Play Workshops. For more info please “friend” her on Facebook.

We often find ourselves in a relationship because we are attracted and like being around another person. It usually is a very organic and spontaneous energetic thrill, but more often than not, once the hormones and newness of the relationship have ended, we find ourselves struggling with our new significant other. Maybe he or she says something that pushes your buttons after a long day at work or he or she forgets to do the dishes like they promised. Whatever the cause, you find yourself questioning the relationship and the person you “fell” for.

This feeling of unsatisfaction is completely normal. We need to embrace these moments. They help us grow in our relationships with people not just our significant others. We need to look within in these moments and tap into our anger and sadness. Sometimes, the true cause of our anger is not our partner’s action but something much deeper rooted in our past. If we do not stop to look at these feelings and go deeper within, we miss out on a huge opportunity to learn more about ourselves and our partner. Relationships are mirrors for us, which we must constantly look at to grow from. Our partner presents that opportunity for us. The challenge is to be able to look at the mirror in a neutral way without our past baggage.

What we seem to fail to understand is that we all come into a relationship with different pairs of lenses. These lenses skew our reality and the mirror in front of us, because they carry all our past relationships, history with our family, culture and all the traumas and triumphs of our lives. We each come to the plate with a lot of ideas of what and how we should be in a relationship. More often than not, your significant other has had a completely different experience than yours. Hence, it is the blind leading the blind literally. From this perspective, it is a miracle that any relationship is able to last at all.

In order to be in a successful relationship with your partner, it will require work from both of you, if you are not ready to work at a relationship, then perhaps you are not ready to be in one. The work begins by you. It is important that you look within and see your lenses, recognize your healthy and poor habits in a relationship. Encourage your partner to do the same and talk about it. It is important that you do not take anything personally. All our actions, especially in a relationship with someone we are sexually active with are extremely loaded with anchors and triggers of our past hurts. We are naturally going to be protective of ourselves and sometimes even defensive. We need to move away from the negativity of our past, and be open to new ideas and new ways of being with our partner.

So, the next time your partner frustrates you, and does something hurtful, make sure you:

1. Take a moment and tap into the feeling you are feeling. Do not allow the feeling to control you. Embrace the emotion

2. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: Why am I really feeling ______.

3. Think of times you have felt this before. I.e. maybe you were made to feel this way before in the past or in your childhood.

4. See your partner without your lenses for a moment as a human being doing the best he/she can in this moment. A human being who is connected to you and cares about you deeply.

5. Now, communicate to your partner what you are feeling. Make sure to come from a safe and positive space so they don’t get defensive. i.e. “You know when you didn’t do the dishes I felt ____________.”

6. Allow him/her to work with you on letting go of this feeling. * Once you speak the emotion, it no longer controls you, you can let it go.

7. Visualize the feeling leaving your body floating away- allow balance back inside

8. Talk with your partner on ways he/she can support you when you feel this way.

9. Identify actions with your partner that may trigger this feeling again and work with your partner to avoid these actions when possible.

Important Note:

Now, let me be clear, you never want to stay in an abusive relationship, no matter what the history with your partner; there is no excuse for physical and emotional abuse. People who abuse are not ready to be in a relationship, they have not looked at their lenses. They don’t know how to be in a relationship, they only know how to dominate and control. If you are constantly feeling angry or sad in a relationship then there may be deeper issues here that need to be explored by a professional.

Do you ever find yourself feeling stressed, unhappy or like something is missing? Perhaps you find yourself doing what many busy professionals do to manage those feelings and latch onto the unhealthy habits of turning to alcohol and the night club scene to wind down from the day’s turmoil.

Drinking and going out all the time can appear like the answer, lets admit it together, going out at night can be fun. Loud music, beautiful people, perceptions of exclusivity and importance, the possibility of a once in a life time chance encounter, the playing on wits, etc.. Yes, the list goes on and on… If you have been there then you understand and know all too well what I’m talking about and how seductive that side of life can be.

As seductive as it can be, it can also be as equally destructive. It’s easy to become attached and addicted to the scene, and with out conscious awareness, you replace your real life experiences for the temporary fleeting rushes the night life serves up. When moving through life in that direction people often find themselves less focused on themselves (the inside), and more more focused on the outside (other people, appearance, approval seeking behavior). I know some of you are probably saying ‘what?!”.. I go out 5 nights a week and that is not me, I go out because I like to, and it’s fun.’.. sure, but the money you spend on clothes to look good, the time you spend getting ready, and the emotional and physical energy you commit to the night often outweigh any potential benefit that may await. When you really think about it, you might find yourself agreeing.

Now what? It comes down to having the courage to take an honest look at yourself and figure out if your lifestyle is either serving you or sabotaging you. Discover what it is that you are truly seeking and looking for through living this lifestyle. Could you be really reaching out for: the approval of others, love, a need to be seen, or perhaps a way to feel validated? For a lot of people they think they go out to be social and for fun, that is at least what the conscious mind is telling them. The real story is that it goes deeper then that and if you are willing to explore yourself for a minute then here is an exercise to help wake you up to what is truly important to you.

I want you to take out a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Got it? Ok, now I want you to draw a horizontal line across the top. Congratulations, you just created what we call a “T” graph. On the left write “Needs” and on the right - write “Night Life”.

Note that for this article we are focusing on those drawn to the night life so my examples will be framed within that context. Note this is a life coaching tool that you can use to analyze any aspect of your life to find out if something is serving you or not.

Under your ‘Needs’ , list you five primary needs in life. For example they may be:

1. To be respected
2. To be loved
3. To be understood
4. To be needed
5. To be valued

Understand? This isn’t rocket science you know and don’t copy my example either unless it truly reflects you.

Now on the ‘Night Life’ side attach a YES or NO to each need listed on the left.

The way to go about this is to ask yourself: “Does going out all the time give me respect?…Does going out all the time make me loved?…” You get it, so do it for each one.

If you answered NO then that means your needs are NOT being met, thus you are preventing yourself from achieving real happiness.

For the quick one’s reading this here is a fast example:

Ex. (need) To be Respected ——– (night life) NO

As for all the “YES’s” you write down ask yourself “are they fleeting, or lasting”. If they are lasting then great, and if they are fleeting then it’s time to reevaluate why you commit resources and energy to going out.

At this point I want you to close your eyes and remember a time and place when you felt comfortable, safe and secure. Remember where you were, and what you were wearing, remember if there were any scents in the air, or tastes in your mouth. Lean back and go deep, and feel yourself in that special place where you experienced those real feelings. Now reflect on how that experience compares to the night life. Good.. Now on a separate sheet of paper, list 5 things you have never done in your life that you have always wanted to do. Perhaps one is surfing, or another is sailing or maybe building a computer..whatever you write, those ideas are yours. Now compare those ideas to the needs you listed and ask yourself if I do these activities will my needs finally be met. You see, it’s often in the things we have always wanted to do / aspired to do where our needs become met. With that being said I now want you to swap a night of going out with a night that you go to bed early to enjoy the next day pursuing an activity on your list. Do this at least once for each activity you list. Can you handle the challenge? Because if you’re up for it, then get ready for your life to change, as you will know the benefits first hand. Sounds bold I know, but I also know it’s true.

On a personal note I think you deserve to be happy, and live a life having your needs met. Perhaps you always knew there was a way but no one ever really cared enough to guide you. Personally I’ve done the club scene, and still go to bars and clubs from time to time, and in my early 20’s I worked as a bartender and promoter so I know how easy it is to be seduced into the night life. I also know that most people who are in it are ‘stuck’. So hopefully for some of you my article has served on some level as inspiration to become free again - back to your true amazing self.

Remember - needs are eternal, they never go away and supplication to the night life is rarely an answer or a way to serve them.

~ Geoff

Geoff provides holistic Life Coaching, Business Coaching and NLP services.  Kamjah calls home: Miami - Palm Beach - Los Angeles - Boston

Guest Contribution from my good friend and professional colleague: Maura Marquez  - MA in Drama Therapy

“I had a choice in my life, to either love or hate, and I am glad I chose love”. This was spoken by one of the Slumdog Millionaire Oscar winners on last Sunday night and it really gave birth to this blog about LOVE. Lately, I have been learning a lot about love. What is love? Love in our most traditional sense is a feeling that is supposed to be felt by one being to another, the dictionary defines Love as: affection, devotion, it means a deep and enduring emotional regard, usually for another person.

But from a spiritual perspective, love is more than a feeling reciprocated to another.

It is an endless well of positive energy that dwells inside us. We can tap into this endless source by going within to find it. The love that is unconditional that loves us, no matter what and that never goes away from us comes from within. If we are able to tap into this well of love we can heal ourselves, love others freely and unite ourselves with a higher potential.

To love everyone and everything the same, is freeing. The best way to empower yourself is to accept putting the love for your self first. It allows room for you to forgive and let go. Love is a mirror into our own soul. It is a mirror into each and every one of us. We are all united by it. I am so saddened when I see so many people stuck in relationships because they need to feel ‘love” this is not love, this is co-dependency. It is a craving for affection, a void they a filling up, like a junkie on heroine. Real love, does not need another to feel it, it is already inside us. Healthy love, is only reflected back to us by our partner.

To tap in:

1. Find a quiet and safe place to sit and close your eyes.

2. Take some deep breaths through your nostrils.

3. Try visualizing your heart place. See your heart.

4. Next see the light within your heart. You can choose to portray this as a candle flame or just a simple ray of light. Once you see this light, feel the love that emanates inside you through this light. See all you love, not just people but things like the ocean or a favorite pet. Let it shine.

5. Next send it to out to the world. Send the light to all the parts of you that needs this love.

6. Try visualizing the light of love covering your fears, your anxieties, your child within, your creative thoughts, and finally finish by covering your whole self with this light.

7. Remember you can tap into your love by using this exercise, the next time you feel anxious, alone or sad.

This type of love is free and accessible at all times within you. Best yet, it is not dependent on any other being but yourself. Use it to reflect love to others, to nature and most of all to yourself. Trust me, as human beings we are dependent on loving others but we can chose to love in a freer and more independent way that is less toxic and more from a balanced place. Use love to grow the lotus inside your heart. Once you can tap in, you will come back for more and you will never be “lonely” anymore.

* Make all your actions from a place of love, in not looking for love in a partner, you will actually find it, by first finding it in yourself. The universe will recognize your love energy and it will put it out there and attract the love you need to be reflected back at you when you are ready. You cannot go out and look for love from the outside, it must come from within.

Here are two of my favorite quotes on love to reflect on:

“Love is the capacity to take care, to protect, to nourish. If you are not capable of generating that kind of energy toward yourself- if you are not capable of taking care of yourself, of nourishing yourself, of protecting yourself- it is very difficult to take care of another person. In the Buddhist teaching, it’s clear that to love oneself is the foundation of the love of other people. Love is a practice. Love is truely a practice.” (Shambhala Sun March 2006 by Thich Nhat Hahn)

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction”. (Antoine)

~ Maura Marquez

What are two things that highly successful people like actors, politicians, and corporate executives have in common? The answer: solid communication skills and coaches.

Part of being successful in any area of your life rests in your ability to communicate and connect with that area; whether it’s people, a task, or even an abstract idea. Direct communication comes in many forms, so for this article we will focus on the ‘in person’ or as you might say ‘face to face’ form.

Face to face communication is perhaps one of the most complex forms. When two people are communicating in person there is much more going on outside of the spoken word. In face to face communication, some researchers believe that only 7% of the communication process is contained within the context of the spoken word and the remaining 93% is made up of body language, vocal tone, eye contact, energy, and facial gestures.

Many successful people know the importance of clear communication. Why do you think many persuasive politicians and successful business executives work with personal coaches? One reason is to make sure they are communicating clearly and being received in the way intended. In the world of linguistics and kinesthetics we call someone ‘congruent’ when their words match their vocal tone and body language. Congruency is what many successful people seek in their interpersonal communication and is why many hire NLP coaches. Deep down we all instinctively know that truly congruent people are far and few, and that is why we have a natural tendency to gravitate toward the congruent elite. It makes sense that congruent business people often rise to executive leadership positions and congruent politicians get elected.

Here is a simple way test yourself for personal congruency.   Ask yourself:  “When I communicate are my messages always received the way I intend them”? If you answered yes to that question, then congratulations because it seems  you are congruent, and if you answered no, then it seems that you should allow yourself to benefit from training to become more congruent.

Becoming congruent can be learned with a few simple steps. When you learn how to control the different parts that make up your communication experience as a whole,  then you can be sure that your messages will come across the way you want them to be received. If you are ready to take control of that area of your life and start communicating with purpose and clear intent, then contact Kamjah now.

~ Kamjah

FYI: I may write another piece on this topic in the near future. I’m thinking my next one will cover congruency in dating. Ladies, ever had a guy creep you out? Guys, ever creep a lady out? LOL That is almost always due to a lack of congruency. Anyways, more on that later.